


My My My

by Charlesleesbutt



Category: Block B, K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Friends to Lovers, Jihoon has a crush on Taeil, M/M, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Some kinda au where they are not idols, Zico and Kyung are already dating, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 13:43:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14262246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlesleesbutt/pseuds/Charlesleesbutt
Summary: After crushing on his best friend for ages, Jihoon finally decides that he is going to confess his feelings for Taeil.





	My My My

**Author's Note:**

> I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS.  
> Sorry in advance for typos!! Apparently I missed some!!
> 
> This was kinda inspired by a few prompts I once saw and the title is inspired by Troye Sivan's AMAZING song "My My My" which everyone should listen to. This isn't really a song fic but that song really reflects some of the feelings between this pairing.
> 
> AND ALSO this is dedicated to my lovely sister. <3333 She pushed me to write this and I finished it for her birthday. :)

Jihoon anxiously fiddled with the edge of his shirt as he sat waiting on a park bench. The air around him felt heavy as the summer sun hung high, causing the temperature to climb. Luckily, a sizeable tree nearby provided a canopy of shade large enough to engulf the entire bench. Without it, he would have most definitely been sweating buckets from this unbearable heat and scorching sun. Still, even in the shade he was sweating, but the heat was surprisingly not to blame.

 

Looking down, Jihoon began drawing shapes in the dirt with his shoe; he needed a new form of fidgeting so he wouldn't wrinkle his shirt too much. He needed to look his best after all. He’d made up his mind that he was going to do it today. He was finally going to confess to Taeil.

 

Jihoon couldn't quite understand why he was so nervous about it though. The two of them were practically already dating. Anyone who spent any time at all around the two always assumed they were a couple. Honestly, you could probably even say that they were married considering that they lived together, ate meals together, and even slept in the same bed since their tiny apartment had very little space to begin with. Putting a label on things wouldn’t even force them to change their current lifestyle. A relationship would just open up more...opportunities.

 

Recalling something that Kyung had so boldly suggested earlier caused Jihoon to exhale in slight irritation.

 

_ “Just fuck him already and get the tension over with.” _

 

He’d said it with such sudden sternness combined with an impish grin that Jihoon couldn’t tell if he was actually serious or not. But knowing Kyung, he most certainly was. Maybe that's how Kyung would have handled the situation, but there was no way in hell he could afford to be that forward. The fear of rejection and destroying his friendship with Taeil was much too great a risk. Especially since they lived together and shared so much of what they owned. If rejection was in his future, then sharing a bed was about to get  _ really _ awkward.

 

Kyung made things sound so easy. All Jihoon had done at the time was cross his arms and offer a half-hearted laugh. Not quite knowing how to respond, he scrunched his lips into an odd shape as he observed the two men who had been seated in the booth across from him. Kyung was leaning forward onto the table, saying things far too inappropriate for their public setting. Jiho’s arm casually rested along the top of the booth behind Kyung, attention focused on the shorter man’s jawline and neck. Well, that was his best guess at where Jiho’s attention was directed anyways. His sunglasses, which he still wore indoors for some reason, made it impossible to tell where he was actually looking. Jihoon didn’t even have to look to know that Kyung and Jiho’s legs were undoubtedly tangled together underneath the table somehow.  _ He envied them _ .

 

Shaking his head, Jihoon brought himself back to reality. This was no time to be thinking about Kyung and Jiho. His thoughts should be focused on Taeil, who could show up at any minute now. Taeil had been working today but was getting off early and had agreed to meet Jihoon for lunch. It was something that they typically did so it was no cause for alarm, yet he couldn’t stop thinking about how it would all play out. When would Taeil get here? When would be the appropriate time to confess? Where would they go to eat? Would it be more appropriate to confess before, after, or during the meal? What exactly was he going to say? How was he-

 

All of Jihoon’s questions were interrupted as he registered a hand snapping directly in front of his face.

 

“Jihoooooon~ Jihooooooooooooooooooooon? Earth to Jihoon.”

 

Although slightly startled, Jihoon recognized the frame of the man standing before him in an instant.  _ Taeil _ . Just thinking about that name filled his heart with warmth. He didn’t mind this extra heat even in summer. One would think that Jihoon would become a stammering idiot around Taeil considering how hard he was crushing however, this wasn’t quite the case. Somehow, Taeil’s mere presence brought him comfort. Even with all the things that could possibly go wrong today, there was something about the sight of those dorky glasses and bucket hat that put Jihoon at ease. Suddenly, he was slightly less worried about confessing as he found himself looking forward to just casually chatting and hanging out with Taeil today.  _ He could so do this _ . But first, he needed to stop staring off into space like an idiot.

 

“Oh, Taeil. Sorry about that, you’re so short that I didn’t see you there for a second.” Jihoon joked with a wide grin.

 

This earned him a playful smack on the arm from Taeil, “Ha ha  _ very _ funny. So where did you want to go to eat anyways? I’m starving and standing out in this heat too brutal.” Taeil looked around while tugging at the collar of his shirt in an attempt to cool himself down. Jihoon couldn’t look away, and found his gaze lingering on Taeil’s neck, mentally tracing the bat tattoo. God he hoped he didn’t look quite as desperate and obvious as Jiho had when looking at Kyung. But then again, those two had no shame.

 

Jihoon swallowed then shrugged. He’d suddenly blanked on the names of every restaurant ever. “Your choice?”

 

Taeil’s brow furrowed in contemplation. “Hmmmm. Ughhhh it's so hot that I can’t even think straight! Can we just skip an actual lunch and go get ice cream instead?”

 

This pleasantly surprised Jihoon, “Sure! That actually sounds really refreshing.”

 

“What are you waiting for then? Lets go!” Taeil smiled as Jihoon got up from where he’d been sitting and followed after the shorter man.

 

~~~~

After searching for what felt like ages, the duo finally managed to find an actual ice cream shop. Jihoon tried his best not to show his disappointment upon realizing that there was no comfortably air conditioned indoor seating area. In reality, they could have just gotten some pre-packaged frozen treat from any old convenience store. But, Taeil demanded soft serve and was determined to get it.

 

Although the ice cream stand was on the smaller side, they had a surprising amount of variety. However, the heat took the appeal away from some of the more elaborate choices; they ultimately just opted for two vanilla cones, which they took with them as they continued to walk.

 

Taeil had made a good call, the ice cream was quite refreshing as expected. Even this simple treat was surprisingly delicious. Jihoon began to slip into a blissful state as the two of them lazily strolled side by side down the street, occasionally stopping to peak into shop windows along the way. Taeil began to chat away about his day at work in between licks of ice cream; Jihoon listened intently...and watched intently. Maybe even a little too intently seeing as how he didn’t even register Taeil glancing over at him out of the corner of his eye. Jihoon had been too focused on the shorter man’s mouth.  _ His tongue. His lips. Even his teeth _ . Just the movement of it all together and his wandering thoughts that went along with it. Maybe ice cream had actually been a  _ bad _ idea.

 

Suddenly, Taeil came to an abrupt halt and turned towards Jihoon, who stood there with a blank and slightly innocent expression of confusion.

 

Taeil let out a slight sigh before licking his thumb and reaching up towards the taller man to rub away some ice cream that had apparently missed Jihoon’s mouth and stuck to his cheek instead. Taeil had to slightly grip Jihoon’s arm to even give himself enough leverage and balance to comfortably reach that high.

 

“Honestly Jihoonie, you’re like a careless child sometimes. You make me feel like an old nagging mother doing stuff like this.”

 

After scrubbing the stickiness away, Taeil withdrew his hand as if nothing had happened. Jihoon on the other hand had been practically paralyzed by the sudden contact. Not that he was uncomfortable or unfamiliar with physical contact from Taeil, it was quite the opposite. It was just that everything felt doubly intimate after coming to terms with his actual feelings.

 

He had wanted to say something cool in response. Maybe a protest about how he wasn’t  _ that _ much younger. Or how he didn’t need to babied by someone who looked  _ much _ more like a baby than he did. But before he could formulate a response, Taeil was acting again.

 

“Ahh! Hey!” Taeil practically squawked, “And be careful with your ice cream! If you keep standing there like that it’s gonna keep melting and get everywhere!”

 

Taeil, who had already finished his ice cream down to the cone, had taken notice of Jihoon’s much less finished and now dripping ice cream. Apparently he had spent so much time watching Taeil eat his ice cream that he had mostly forgotten about his own.

 

“Oh! I guess I didn’t-”

 

Jihoon didn’t even get the chance to finish his thought before Taeil’s grip returned to his arm. Only this time, Taeil was not reaching up to clean Jihoon’s face, but rather, he was pulling the ice cream cone over towards his own face.

 

“Here let me help you.” Taeil suggested. Although, it really wasn’t a suggestion because he didn’t even hesitate as he began to lick the melting edges of Jihoon’s ice cream, taking his time to make sure no drips remained.

 

Jihoon was glad he couldn’t see his own face right now; he could feel it heating up, likely tinting his cheeks with crimson as his brain slowly began processing the situation. How was one supposed to react in this kind of situation? There was a part of himself that wanted to run and hide. Surely this strange pda was attracting a bit of attention from those around them. Although, he couldn’t quite tell for sure since his eyes were once again glued to the movements of Taeil’s tongue and lips, which, made him want to do the opposite of hide; the other part of him really wanted to be that ice cream cone right about now. Taeil’s lips looks so soft. How would they feel upon his own lips? Or upon his neck? His chest? His-

 

_ Crunch _

 

In the midst of Jihoon’s fantasy, Taeil had taken advantage of the situation and bitten off a piece of the cone, snapping the taller man out of his day dreaming. Jihoon scrunched his face into a pout as he pulled the cone away from Taeil, playfully using his other hand to shield the ice cream from its attacker.

 

“HeyyyyYYYY!” Jihoon whined, “I was still gonna eat that!”

 

Taeil held his hand in front of his mouth to stifle his laughter while he finished chewing the last bit of stolen cone. “Yeah, eat it off the ground if you’d waited any longer. It was melting everywhere!”

 

“Maybe the ice cream part, but not the cone! Cones don’t melt!” Jihoon playfully whined back.

 

“Ahh, I guess you got me there. I just wanted more ice cream.” Taeil replied with an odd smirk. He knew that Jihoon wasn’t actually upset about it.

 

Jihoon rolled his eyes, lips curling back into his usual grin, “I guess I’ll just have to get you back for this later then.”

“Oh, is that so?” Taeil said, raising his eyebrows, it almost felt flirtatious. “Well you can get back at me right now by hurrying up and actually finishing your ice cream so we do some shopping.” He motioned towards a nearby clothing shopping.

 

“Oh, right.” Jihoon replied, hurrying to finish the remainder of the cone, feeling oddly pressured as Taeil stared him down as he did so. Maybe he should have offered the rest to him. On second thought, maybe not. He had suffered watching Taeil eat ice cream, so now it was Taeil’s turn to suffer while watching him eat it. Although, they probably weren’t feeling the same type of feelings.

 

As soon as he’d finished the last bite, Taeil was practically pulling Jihoon’s arm out of its socket as he dragged him in the direction of the store. Jihoon had no choice but to follow as there was no escape from Taeil’s surprisingly strong grip.

 

~~~~

 

The store that they found themselves in was a moderately expansive clothing store; rows of shirts and jackets seemed to stretch on forever. At first, the duo stuck together before slowly gravitating towards the sections of the store that reflected their respective styles.

 

Jihoon fumbled around with a few shirts before stopping to wonder if he should maybe change his style. He’d always thought that his outfit combinations looked cool, but maybe Taeil thought they looked lame. Were they too casual? Too formal? Too colorful? Too weird? Jihoon shook his head in frustration. Jeez, he was really getting bent out of shape about this.

 

Just then, Taeil appeared at his side. “Oh Jihoon, are you gonna try on that shirt? It’s  _ totally _ your style.”

 

He hadn’t originally planned on it, but he thought he might as well now that Taeil had asked. “Sure. I’ll even model it for you.” Jihoon said, flashing a cheeky grin.

 

“Alright.” Taeil responded with a laugh.

 

At this Jihoon, began to weave through the store until he reached the area where the changing booths were. Taeil was likely following, but he didn’t turn around to check; admittedly, he was a little worried that Taeil might try to casually follow him into the stall. They were friends so it's not like it would have been a huge deal. It was just that he didn’t really think he could take being in an enclosed space with Taeil at the moment...while he stripped...and Taeil watched. That and the fact that he was feeling his usual bout of body consciousness.

 

Once in the changing room with the door shut, Jihoon began to fiddle with the buttons of his shirt. Funny, he had been so worried about crumpling it earlier but now it was inevitable since he was changing. Once off, he replaced it with the new shirt that he had apparently picked out. He’d been taken a bit off guard back there so he hadn’t even really payed attention to what had been in his hand. After buttoning it up, he was pleasantly surprised that Taeil had in fact been right, it was exactly his style.

 

Jihoon couldn’t control the grin that began to stretch across his face.  _ He looked totally cool _ . It was amazing how that right outfit could transform one’s mood. He took this time to check himself out in the mirror a little longer, running a hand through his hair, making finger guns, winking at himself. He felt oddly confident in himself, even upon remembering what he had originally planned to do today. Jihoon had momentarily forgotten all about his confession plans and was now running through possible ways to go about it in his head; even if he looked pretty suave in this shirt, a clothing shop probably wasn’t the most romantic place for a confession. Jeez, he was acting like this was a marriage proposal or something. At this thought, Jihoon found himself zoning out imagining how he would propose to Taeil if that were ever an option; he certainly would plan on doing something more romantic than buying ice cream and trying on clothes. Unless Taeil wanted to be the one to propose…

 

Shaking his head, Jihoon brought himself back to reality. He needed to stop being ridiculous and focus on the task at hand.

 

“Jihooooooooon. Aren’t you done yet? You only brought in one shirt, don’t tell me your head is somehow stuck.” Taeil called from outside.

 

Jihoon puffed up his cheeks in slight frustration. How would he even get his head stuck in this kind of shirt anyways? It was a button up!

 

Making sure that all the buttons were in the right holes and that there were no wrinkles in the shirt, Jihoon answered Taeil’s protests by pushing the door open and strolling his way out.  _ Hopefully _ he looked cool. With a little burst of unexpected confidence, Jihoon waltzed over the where Taeil was sitting, mimicking a model reaching the end of a runway by striking a slight pose. “Well?”

 

“Woaaaahhhh, Jihoon! You actually looked kinda cool there for a second.” Taeil admitted with a laugh. Apparently disliking how short he felt sitting while Jihoon stood towering above him, Taeil got up and pretended to intently focus on how the shirt fit his friend.

 

This caused Jihoon to beam, “What, only for a second?!”

 

Taeil raked his gaze over Jihoon’s figure once more in faux contemplation, squinting his eyes and bringing a hand up to scratch his chin to further add to the effect.

 

“Hmm, okay maybe  _ two _ seconds then.”

 

Jihoon attempted to fish for better compliments by making puppy eyes at Taeil.

“Oh alright alright, you look  _ completely _ cool in that shirt.” Taeil admitted.

 

This caused Jihoon’s grin to stretch from ear to ear. They weren’t extremely rare or anything, but getting compliments from Taeil felt pretty good. Just spending time together in general felt pretty good.  _ Better _ than pretty good. There were no words to describe the enjoyment he got from the casual nature of it all. His spirits were lifted, his confidence was boosted, and Taeil thought that  _ he _ was  _ cool _ . Jihoon began to feel better about his chances.

 

Grinning a bit oddly, Taeil suddenly gave Jihoon a playful slap on the back. “ _ Seriously _ Jihoonie, how is it that you don’t have a girlfriend yet?”

 

Jihoon felt his heart clench at this unexpected comment. His newly lifted spirits had just come crashing down. Awkwardly shuffling, he averted his gaze to the floor. “Oh, I don’t know…” Jihoon trailed off shyly. He failed to mention the fact that Taeil didn’t have a girlfriend either.

 

Taeil gave Jihoon a pat on the back once again, although softer this time, “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone who likes your unique charms for sure. Especially with such a cool fashion style! Hell, if I were a girl, I’d be  _ all _ over you!”

 

God. Stop.  _ Why was Taeil like this?  _ Who seriously said stuff like that?! Jihoon felt the top of his ears begin to burn and his palms begin to sweat. He knew it was just a joke, but it was still making his head spin. A million thoughts popped into his mind as he tried to keep himself together. But most of all, he was feeling discouraged. If he had been better at flirting, maybe he would have said something along the lines of ‘ _ I don’t even need to be a girl, you’re already all over me. _ ’ But he couldn’t say that. He couldn’t risk making things weird. One minute he’d felt so capable of expressing his feelings to Taeil, and in the next he was back to square one. What really hurt though, was that there wasn’t much that he could even do. It occurred to Jihoon that Taeil might not even like guys in that way. Which, would  _ obviously _ prove to be another problem for him. He’d never really been completely sure about Taeil’s sexuality despite how close they were. Considering that last comment, things didn’t exactly seem to be in his favor.

 

“Oh, stop.” was all that Jihoon could bring himself to say as he forced a slight smile and lightly shoved Taeil’s arm, attempting a playful manner. Hopefully Taeil would just think that he was acting shy again.

 

“No no, I’m serious! In fact, you’re gonna go back into that changing room, change back into your shirt, and then come back out and buy this new one so you can get a confidence boost in the future!”

 

Suddenly, Taeils hands came in contact with Jihoon’s back, pushing him back into the changing room and as usual, giving him very little time to protest or even process the situation.

 

~~~~

The events that had followed after were a bit of a blur. With his confidence spiraling downward, both from Taeil’s comment and his own inability to act, Jihoon was having difficulty focusing on anything for very long. As Taeil had apparently demanded, he had ended up buying the shirt. Afterwards, he had even helped Taeil decide on a few things to buy of his own. However, the rest of the shopping experience seemed to mainly consist of Jihoon continually attempting to keep up a happy facade in front of Taeil. Of course he enjoyed spending time with his dear friend, but he just couldn’t help feeling wrong. His intrusive thoughts tugged at his heart and mind, pressuring him to speak up while simultaneously telling him to shut up. Because if he spoke up, there was always the chance that all of this could go away. He feared he might make Taeil uncomfortable and that he would never want anything to do with him ever again.

 

After the shopping excursion, the duo had decided to return home to do nothing in particular for the rest of the evening. Jihoon was glad when it was time for dinner seeing as neither of them had eaten anything since the ice cream earlier. Despite the fact that neither of them had to work tomorrow, they both decided to turn in early; wandering around in the heat all day had really exhausted them both. And now, Jihoon found himself seated on the end of their bed with his legs hanging off. Well, hanging wasn’t really the proper word for it since the bed was low enough for his feet to comfortably reach the ground. He really wished that the bed was high enough for his legs to be able to hang off of. Being able to swing the around might have been a helpful form of fidgeting at the moment; he’d already changed into what he was planning on sleeping in so he had no accessories on him that he could fiddle with to calm his nerves as he waited for Taeil to finish showering.

 

What a fool he had been today. Countless wasted opportunities. What had happened to his confidence? What had happened to making up his mind? Jihoon’s thoughts drifted back to the comment Taeil had made earlier about getting a girlfriend, causing his chest to tighten. Nausea swept over him and he gripped at the bed sheets to ground himself. He should really just lay down and pretend to be sleeping so that he wouldn’t even have to look at Taeil once he came back to the room.

 

At this thought, Jihoon furiously shook his head. It's not like it was really Taeil’s fault, so why did he feel the need to avoid him? Sure, today Taeil had been a bit of a... _ tease _ , but he probably had no idea. Usually Jihoon was the one who was blissfully unaware of his surroundings and people’s intentions, so this situation was quite the opposite. He still wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

 

A muffled yawn interrupted his train of thought as Taeil pushed open the door to their room. Jihoon could tell that Taeil hadn’t bothered to dry his hair much after showering; it still appeared partially damp as it began to air dry and naturally fluff. With his bangs parting into a curtain style, the two sections of his hair somewhat reminded Jihoon of puppy ears.  _ Cute.  _ Even cuter was seeing Taeil fumble around the room without his glasses on. He typically left them in the bedroom so as not to get them fogged up. Apparently he’d forgotten where he left them this time too. Jihoon couldn’t help but give a slight chuckle at this, causing Taeil to turn in his direction, squinting in an attempt to focus on the taller man.

 

“Ahh, Jihoon have you seen my glasses? I can’t remember where I put them.”

 

Jihoon scratched his head in contemplation for a moment before wordlessly clambering over the bed and reaching for the pair of glasses on one of the nightstands. Oddly enough, it was the nightstand that Jihoon typically used, but he didn’t think much of it as he made his way back over to the edge of the bed so that he could hand Taeil the pair of spectacles.

 

Taeil’s thankful smile caused his still squinting eyes to shrink even smaller as Jihoon handed over the glasses, their hands briefly brushing as Taeil retrieved them, sending a somewhat electrical sensation up through Jihoon’s fingers. Luckily Taeil was too busy adjusting his glasses back on his face to notice Jihoon’s slight jump after the contact. Once his glasses were back on his face, Taeil looked down at the other man who was still sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling at him a little oddly. Apparently, Taeil took notice.

 

“Jihoon…” he started, “Are you feeling alright? You’ve been acting oddly... _ distant _ today.” Taeil placed a reassuring hand onto the other man’s shoulder. 

 

At a loss for words, Jihoon’s eyes widened. Apparently Taeil was more perceptive today than he had originally thought.  _ Think think think. Say something you idiot! Tell him!  _

 

All he could manage to sputter was “O-Oh, really? I guess I hadn’t really noticed...I must just be tired, that's all.”

 

Taeil wasn’t buying it, he moved his free hand up to brush some of Jihoon’s hair out of the way so that he could feel his forehead. “Hmm. You do feel a little warm.”

 

_ Of course I do. It’s because it’s summer and...you're so close. _ Jihoon thought to himself before breaking eye contact. “Ahh well...maybe the heat got to me today then. I should probably get myself to bed then.” He gave an exaggerated yawn, stretching away from Taeil’s touch, before maneuvering himself over to his side of the bed, his back now to Taeil who was still standing where he had been. He could practically feel the other man’s gaze.

 

_ Stupid stupid stupid. _

 

“Alright, well remember not to push yourself too hard. I do worry about you, you know.”

 

Jihoon wanted nothing more than to bury his face in his hands, but he couldn’t be  _ that  _ obvious. He couldn’t just not respond either. “Aww Taeil, don’t forget you need your rest too...goodnight...” Jihoon trailed off, adding to his illusion of sleepiness.

 

Taeil gave a slight laugh of pity before turning off the light and climbing into bed. “Goodnight…” he replied, also trailing off with a yawn.

 

_ Stupid stupid stupid. _

 

Jihoon laid motionless in the dark, listening to the sounds of Taeil shuffling next to him. In the dark, the room seemed twice as vast. Taeil’s presence next to him felt oddly alien, and he was left alone with his thoughts. Rolling over, Jihoon shut his eyes tight, but sleep did not come. He tried counting sheep and imagining scenarios to dream about, but that only made him more restless. The room was too stuffy.  _ Too hot _ . He felt like he was suffocating as he became hyper aware of his surroundings. Aware of a ticking clock on the wall. Of the indecipherable cacophony from the street below.  _ Of Taeil’s breathing _ , now slow and rhythmic.

 

Cautiously opening his eyes, Jihoon took in the frame of the smaller man next to him. What had felt strange a moment ago suddenly felt oddly comforting. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, the image of Taeil sleeping on his side with his back facing Jihoon became clearer. He watched the way Taeil’s body move under the shirt that was probably a little too big for him as he breathed. Something about it felt therapeutic. Everything felt a little easier when the world was quiet. Jihoon wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch Taeil. So close and yet so far. He longed for his fingers to brush down the other man’s spine. He longed for the strength to tell him how he truly felt. For some reason, he felt more capable of doing it now than he had all day. But he couldn’t just wake Taeil up. That would be rude.

 

Still, the desire to touch Taeil was too great, and Jihoon found his hand involuntarily reaching out. Instead of brushing his fingers down the length of Taeil’s spine as he had originally wanted, his fingers moved in different patterns; slowly and gently, they traced shapes on the other man’s back. Fingertips softly trailing along, creating invisible syllables, forming a phrase.

 

_ I love you. I love you. I love you. _

 

He traced the phrase for a few moments before getting too flustered, having to retrieve his arm.  _ There I did it.  _ He thought to himself.  _ That wasn’t too hard now was it? _

 

Jihoon twisted his mouth into a pout.  _ God he was so pathetic _ . He felt his chest tighten once again, this time accompanied by a slight burning in his eyes. He felt a bit ridiculous for it, but he wanted to cry. Just not here.

 

Being extra careful not to rock the bed too much, Jihoon crept out of bed towards the window, which he then opened and climbed through until he was out on their apartment’s fire escape. It was a miracle that he even made it out there alive and without making too much noise seeing as the room was quite dark. Alone at last, he let out a sigh.  _ What a day. _

 

Jihoon couldn’t help but feel upset with himself after all that had happened. He began to overwhelm himself, causing a few warm tears to trickle down his cheeks. He wasn’t really sobbing, but had he been, the noise of the city below would surely have masked it anyways. Looking around at the array of lights before him, the city gave Jihoon something else to focus on as he cleared his head. He glanced at other apartment complexes, some windows with lights on and some with lights off. So many lights, so many lives, so many stories. He wondered if anyone out there understood how he felt or what he was going through. His line of sight continued to travel along the expanse of apartment buildings, stopping on the complex that he knew Jiho and Kyung lived in. He wasn’t sure which room was theirs, but he guessed it was one of the ones with the light still on.

 

Leaning on the railing, Jihoon let out a huff.  _ What was he going to do with himself?  _ He wasn’t sure how much more of this torment he could actually take. He needed to get the whole thing over with anyways. Surely he would feel better if he did. Unless of course Taeil was uncomfortable with it or unaccepting.  _ Then what would he do? _

 

Jihoon shook his head and bit his lip to keep himself from crying again. In that case, there wouldn’t really be  _ anything _ he could do. How could he not feel absolutely crushed by this thought?  _ How could he- _

 

A sound at the window behind him caused Jihoon’s heart to practically stop, as a familiar form slid into place next to him, leaning wordlessly on the railing and looking out over the city. Even as Jihoon looked over for an answer as to why the other man was here, Taeil denied eye contact, focusing on something in the distance. Jihoon couldn’t decipher Taeil’s expression or the tone of the entire situation for that matter; he couldn’t tell if the other man’s presence was comforting or aggravating. Couldn’t he see that he just wanted to be left alone? But then again, was that what he  _ really _ wanted? Jihoon’s face felt like it was on fire and his brain had been reduced to mush. He needed to calm down. But most of all,  _ he needed to say something _ .

 

“T-Taeil…” Jihoon’s usually deep voice became a bit squeeky and he cleared his throat, “If I tell you that I…you know…care about you…would you...would you-”

 

With a flat interruption, Taeil responded, “I love you too.”

 

And then silence. Had he misheard? Was his brain playing tricks on him? Jihoon’s heart skipped a beat in response to this utterance. With wide eyes, he turned to look at Taeil like a deer in headlights. “W-Wha…??”

 

At this Taeil also turned to face Jihoon, with a much more serious expression. “I said,  _ I love you too _ .”

 

_ Laughter _ . All Jihoon could muster was some confused laughter. He wasn’t letting his walls down quite yet. Taeil cocked an eyebrow in confusion but didn’t look offended. He seemed to understand. When he could speak again, Jihoon went on with “How did you…??” before trailing off again.

 

“I was awake you know.”

 

“Oh... _ OH _ .” Jihoon understood now. _ How embarrassing _ . Unfortunately there wasn’t really anywhere for him to hide from what had happened out on this fire escape. How could he have let himself get caught doing such cringey things!? “Sorry about that.” Jihoon responded again.

 

This time it was Taeil’s turn to laugh. “Don’t apologize. Jihoonie, didn’t you hear what I said?”

 

“Yeah but...okay so I’m not crazy here right? Like what you mean is that you love me as in _love_ _love_ me? As in that you’d want to…” Jihoon’s gaze shifted to Taeil’s slightly parted lips, “...kiss me?”

 

Taeil’s parted lips closed, curling into a bit of a smirk. “Would you believe me if I showed you?”

 

Without giving Jihoon a chance to answer, Taeil immediately closed the space between; he hadn’t even noticed how close the two of their faces had gotten while just leaning on the railing and talking. And now the space ceased to exist completely. Their lips met, shyly at first, but then softer, gaining confidence. Not moving much, until Taeil reached over to cup Jihoon’s cheek with his palm, deepening the kiss. This caught Jihoon slightly off guard, forcing him to pull back for a minute. He worried that he might give Taeil the wrong impression, but he needed to get one thing straight first. Through all his giddiness, he forced his brain to form proper thoughts, yet Taeil managed to get in the first word as usual.

 

“What? Was it that-”

 

It was Jihoon’s turn to cut him off, “No, no! Of course not! That’s not it at all! I was just...I was just surprised because…” he lowered his voice, “Well I mean, I’ve never really done anything like this before...and what you said earlier, about me getting a girlfriend…”

 

“Oh,  _ that _ ?” Taeil made an odd expression, half relieved half amused, “I didn’t  _ actually _ mean anything in particular by that. I kinda just wanted to see what you’d say. I mean...I had been coming on to you practically all day, I didn’t think I could get any  _ more _ obvious.”

 

Jihoon’s head was starting to spin, “Wait...huh?!”

 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes you are  _ painfully _ oblivious Jihoonie.” Taeil rested his cheek in his hand while leaning his elbow on the railing, Jihoon could see the sleepiness in Taeil’s half lidded eyes even more when he squished his cheek like that. Jihoon slightly bit his lip, unable to tell if it was a result of him wanting to pout or his reaction to Taeil’s cuteness.

 

“So if you like me, then why didn’t you just say something?” Jihoon suddenly realized the he was in the exact same boat. He felt like an idiot and didn’t want Taeil to potentially be able to use this as an opportunity to roast him, so he he made sure to speak up again, “I mean, some of the stuff you said...some of the stuff you did-”

 

Taeil interrupted, stiffening his posture, “Jihoon. If I hurt you in any way, I didn’t mean it like that. I was trying to… tease you. That’s what you do, right? When you have… feelings?”

 

Trying not to smile too wide, Jihoon shook his head and waved his arms around a bit. “ _ No _ ! I mean  _ yes _ ! Wait I mean... _ ugh _ ! Let me start over!” 

 

He took a deep breath before continuing once again. “Taeil. I like you. I really  _ really _ like you. But I was never sure about you. I didn’t want to assume anything because, well, we’ve been friends for so long. And I didn’t want my silly feelings to come before our friendship. I didn’t want you to laugh at me. I didn’t want to ruin what we already had. Because I wasn’t sure if I could handle that.” Jihoon forced his gaze to meet Taeil’s, “So that’s kinda why I never really said anything to you. As much as I always wanted to.”

 

Jihoon felt a sudden warmth as Taeil reached for his hands, intertwining their fingers. “Jihoon, you’re my  _ best _ friend and you  _ always _ will be. I would have  _ never  _ laughed at you for something like that. Even if I can be kind of a piece of shit at times...sometimes I take things too far. But just know that, I’ve felt the same way about you for awhile now too. So I really hope I didn’t end up causing you too much grief from all of this.”

 

At this, Jihoon gave a slight laugh, squeezing Taeil’s hands, “That doesn’t matter now. I’m just...I’m actually not sure what to say now. I’m so relieved you have no idea...okay well never mind you actually  _ do _ have the same idea. It’s just...wow...I never imagined it all to play out like this. I kept assuming the worst. And now I’m just? So relieved. So  _ happy _ .” Jihoon beamed a little shyly, causing Taeil to grin in response.

 

Releasing Jihoon’s hands and instead grabbing for his shoulders, Taeil pulled the taller man’s face closer to his once again with a soft “Come here”, stopping when their foreheads touched, wrapping his arms around the back of Jihoon’s neck. Not even the summer heat could bother either of them in this moment, as Jihoon snaked his arms behind Taeil as well. Once again he began tracing  _ I love you. I love you. I love you. _ lightly along Taeil’s back. This earned another small laugh from Taeil, moving his lips just inches from Jihoon’s.

 

“ _ Then show me again _ .” Taeil practically murmured into Jihoon’s lips as they connected once again. Long, sweet, and full of passion. Taeil’s lips were so soft, much softer than he had expected. Even after stealing looks at them all day. _ He finally knew exactly what Taeil’s lips, tongue, and even teeth felt like _ . Kissing Taeil was even better than he could have ever imagined. He never wanted to stop. Never wanted to let go. So when Taeil was the first to pull away this time, Jihoon practically whined, earning a few more laughter ridden smooches back from Taeil, before giving him a final peck on the cheek and whispering into his ear “As much as I’d love to stay out here with you all night, we’ve both had a long day. Let’s get some rest.”

 

Taeil untangled himself from Jiihoon’s grasp, reaching for his hands once again to pull him towards the window back into their apartment. “We’ll be able to talk more about everything in the morning.” Taeil gave a reassuring pat to Jihoon’s hands, “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. So you  _ better _ not ditch me either!”

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Jihoon responded with a sleepy smile. He had the feeling that he was going to be getting one of the best nights of sleep he had ever had, looking forward to waking up in Taeil’s arms tomorrow morning.

  
Before following Taeil back through the window, Jihoon gave one last glance up at the night skyline and the apartments in the distance, a mischievous grin forming on his lips.  _ Boy did he have news for Jiho and Kyung _ . 

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh sorry again for any typos or inconsistencies. This is my first KPop related fic so I hope I wrote them decently. ;u;
> 
> As always comments are EXTREMELY APPRECIATED!!!! They really help to motivate me to keep writing!! Pls gush to me about Block B lmaoooo.
> 
> oH and yeah my apologies to all my followers who expect me to update my other fics. I'm a dummy who never updates things ahaHA. Maybe someday. But I'm just really into KPop right now so yeahhhhhhhhhh...
> 
> ALSO feel free to check out my KPop merch on Redbubble https://www.redbubble.com/people/zeldakinz?ref=account-nav-dropdown&asc=u  
> Follow me on my Cosplay Instagram (PrincetteKillian)  
> Follow me on my KPop Instagram (Zicosmullet)  
> Follow me on my Art Instagram (Killiansartaccount)  
> Follow me on my Tumblr (Charlesleesbutt)  
> Follow me on my Twitter (Croconanas)
> 
> ^^^^ HMU Y'all I'm lonely


End file.
